JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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