I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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