8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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