You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
why didn't you poke me back
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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