yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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