At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
