I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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