I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
