I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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