D3 body, D1 cock
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
