I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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