I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
