I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
