Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I need to align my fucking chakras
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