I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
