Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
