hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
