Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
