I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
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