It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize