the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
