so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
All I want is dick and wine.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
