Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
