Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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