I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize