How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
