So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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