Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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