Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
