someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
