Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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