Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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