i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
