u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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