i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
