I'm lost and stupid without you.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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