even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
