Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
