I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
