Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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