I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
