btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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