I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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