Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
