I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
