i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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