I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
