I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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