Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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