The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We need to rekindle our bromance
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
