she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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