I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
