On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
