Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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