Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
