i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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