well I can't set my house on fire every night
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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