There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
