the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
