I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
