Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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