My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
