I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just pynch a tree in the face
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize