i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
