You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
