I just threw up on my dentist
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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