It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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