And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
