I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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