dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
