If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The air was thick with penises
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
