She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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