That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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