Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize