week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize