Jerry, you need to find god
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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