he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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